At a loss

Tonight is not such a good night. And I am kind of at a loss of what to do. So, I thought, now's a good time to blog. That's what it's there for right?

It started out ok. We planned to spend some time hanging out as a family. So far so good. Last night I had fallen asleep early and I wanted to be more attentive tonight. We were planning a family movie night, this being the first night of summer. We used to do this when my older boys were little. We would pull out all the blankets in the house and make a big bed on the floor. Then we would get into our jammies and watch a movie or whatever line up of shows we were addicted to at the time. These were always fun times and today my 14 year old suggested we do it again with Ephram and DeAndre. It sounded like a plan to me.

James wanted me to watch a show he has recorded for me last night. I knew he was trying to be thoughtful so I relented even though I was eager to get on with our movie night with the kids. We sent the little ones to play but they didn't want to go. They started fussing at each other and soon had earned an early bedtime and, thus, no movie night. We were all disappointed.

Since then things have taken a turn for the worse. Nobody here is in a great mood and that leads to either silence or yelling. Tonight it's silence and it's so loud it's deafening. I hate the silence. I hate not talking when there is obviously something to talk about. I have feeling like I must speak but no matter what I say it will be the wrong thing. I hate how I feel right now.

So, we need some prayers tonight. And some fresh air for those of us awake. Rest too, that would be good. Other than that, I am, as I said, at a loss.

Kim