Weary Wings

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Not too many of these

I had an encounter with God tonight. Not that I don't encounter Him everyday but tonight it was personal, He was really speaking to me.

I had an experience like this about 10 years ago in the living room of my little one bedroom apartment I shared with my two boys. It's hard to explain but I became overwhelmed with the notion that, there, in my living room, sat with me the same God that conversed with Noah about building the ark. I know it sounds silly but in a very special moment I was overcome with the reality of His presence and I have never forgot that moment. Tonight was not unlike that night.

I think I mentioned before that I am part of a new program at our church called Redemption Group. It is an intense 12 week study on the Exodus that leads us to examine parts of our own lives in light of that story. It has been an amazing experience for me and I can say without hesitation that no other study has drawn out of me the things this study has.

In the course of an evening we often open us the floor to ask one another questions as we feel led by the Holy Spirit. I realize this might seem weird to someone who doesn't practice the same faith as I do but, nevertheless, that's how we operate in the group.

Leading up to my time in this group has been a couple of dry years between me and the Lord. I have not questioned His existence or anything like that but have really struggled with how distant I have felt from Him. Honestly, I never expected the Holy Spirit to use me in that group because I had come to believe I wasn't someone He wanted to use. In a sense, I felt useless.

Imagine my surprise tonight when I felt a burning desire to ask, not one, but two questions. When I say burning, I mean I was going to leap out of my seat if I didn't get to open my mouth. What was even more interesting was that I wasn't necessarily interested in knowing the answers. I just knew that the questions had to be asked. After asking them, I was humbled by how apparent it was that God had led me to ask those questions. I was feeling joy and humility all at once as I realized that in spite of myself, He used me. And that's not even the cool part.

When I left I turned on the car and hit play on my MP3 player for the ride home. The words,"though silent I can tell, that you're alive and well, cause I can feel you move in me", played through the stereo and I had immediate goose bumps as I realized that there in my car, Jesus sat with me. I can't explain how it feels to know that the God of the Universe is sitting in your car but I can tell you, when He is, you know it. And we rode together silently as I thanked Him for being there and for allowing me to be used tonight. It was incredible.

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